The Star to Every Wandering Bark

Today is our 22nd anniversary.  That is a very long time to be married.  It is inevitable that you will have weathered quite a few storms in the space of 22 years and we have, but we have come through and intend to keep on keeping on.  Normally we would go out to dinner, but we are economizing this year with every fibre of our being and so we will eat here in the homestead.  Maybe Anthony will cook dinner (he's been cooking a bit this summer!)

I never imagined that I would get married or that I would have kids.  When I was young, I pictured quite a different life for myself -- single blessedness in a fancy apartment in New York City (or at least Toronto) and the life of an actor/writer/director -- there wasn't any room for husbands and children.

But your life takes on its own character and things don't happen in the way you imagine and your imagination of what makes a good life changes as you go as well.  Thanks to my mom I think I would have made the best of whatever life I stumbled upon, and thanks to both my parents I made some of my own luck -- it's never a bad idea to get an education and working and saving money and living minimally are always good ways of feeling like you're in control of some of the vicissitudes of life.  I will say that my family, my husband and children, my parents, my sister, are responsible for many of the great joys in my life and I wouldn't change a lot about the way I've lived.  I wouldn't trade our little townhouse with the lads and Daisy for a loft in Manhattan (although I'd like to be able to go to Manhattan more often -- New York is a great city with so much going on and such energy and excitement).

From my experience, this is my take on marriage.  It's not easy, but then nothing worth doing is easy.  You have to have a good sense of humour.  Sometimes you have to keep your mouth shut.  (But I do too much of that -- I should be better at communicating -- I know it, but it's hard to fight your impulses).  You have to appreciate and respect the other person.  You can't expect to change them.  They are what they are.  You can't expect them to make you happy.  You have to be happy yourself.  There has to be give and take -- you can't expect them to do things for you and you not to have to reciprocate.  You need to trust them and be trustworthy.  You both have to be willing to keep trying.  I think if one of you gives up, that's disaster.  So I hope Mike and I have another great 22 years (and more?) ahead of us!  Happy anniversary to us!