Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it! This is a special time for most cultures because there is so little daylight. Lots of the things we associate with Christmas (the tree, mistletoe {did you know that the word "mistletoe" translates into "poo on a stick"?}, the yule log, the giving of gifts, the decorations, especially those that involve light) are actually pagan practices. We have Charles Dickens to thank for lots of the hoopla around Christmas -- that great description of the scene that frames the Ghost of Christmas Present is the Victorian Christmas exemplified. Here it is. Read it out loud for the best effect:
It was his own room. There was no doubt about that. But it had undergone
a surprising transformation. The walls and ceiling were so hung with
living green, that it looked a perfect grove; from every part of which,
bright gleaming berries glistened. The crisp leaves of holly, mistletoe,
and ivy reflected back the light, as if so many little mirrors had been
scattered there; and such a mighty blaze went roaring up the chimney,
as that dull petrification of a hearth had never known in Scrooge's
time, or Marley's, or for many and many a winter season gone. Heaped up
on the floor, to form a kind of throne, were turkeys, geese, game,
poultry, brawn, great joints of meat, sucking-pigs, long wreaths of
sausages, mince-pies, plum-puddings, barrels of oysters, red-hot
chestnuts, cherry-cheeked apples, juicy oranges, luscious pears, immense
twelfth-cakes, and seething bowls of punch, that made the chamber dim
with their delicious steam. In easy state upon this couch, there sat a
jolly Giant, glorious to see, who bore a glowing torch, in shape not
unlike Plenty's horn, and held it up, high up, to shed its light on
Scrooge, as he came peeping round the door.
`Come in.' exclaimed the Ghost. `Come in, and know me better, man.'
Scrooge entered timidly, and hung his head before this Spirit. He was
not the dogged Scrooge he had been; and though the Spirit's eyes were
clear and kind, he did not like to meet them.
`I am the Ghost of Christmas Present,' said the Spirit. `Look upon me.'
Scrooge reverently did so. It was clothed in one simple green robe, or
mantle, bordered with white fur. This garment hung so loosely on the
figure, that its capacious breast was bare, as if disdaining to be
warded or concealed by any artifice. Its feet, observable beneath the
ample folds of the garment, were also bare; and on its head it wore no
other covering than a holly wreath, set here and there with shining
icicles. Its dark brown curls were long and free; free as its genial
face, its sparkling eye, its open hand, its cheery voice, its
unconstrained demeanour, and its joyful air. Girded round its middle was
an antique scabbard; but no sword was in it, and the ancient sheath was
eaten up with rust.
`You have never seen the like of me before.' exclaimed the Spirit.
Of course, Mr. Allison sent me greetings on the holiday that he and I enjoy -- Frank Costanza's "Festivus" which features an aluminum pole (less distracting than a tree), feats of strength and "the airing of grievances". Apparently this holiday was kicked off in the sixties by Dan O'Keefe and his family. Dan O'Keefe later became a writer on my favourite tv show of all time, "Seinfled" and the "festivus" episode is one of the most hilarious of the show, although I'd be hard pressed to limit my "most hilarious" list to ten episodes, since I love the show so much.
My husband remains in the hospital and so it is a rather limping Christmas for us. I have watched lots of old movies, which can be a huge comfort when things are going awry. Last night, we watched "It's a Wonderful Life" and you can't beat that for comfort. I always see it as an expression of determinism, because George Bailey wants to leave Bedford Falls, but he can't. There's that terrific scene at the train station when his brother, Harry, comes home from college and the brother's new wife tells George about Harry's job offer and you can see the horror in James Stewart's face as he realizes that he is stuck again. Of course, it being Frank Capra, at the end, George realizes that he is the "richest man in town" because everyone loves him so much, but if George was a real person, he'd always have that awful seed in the back of his mind that would feed his feelings of frustration and failure and helplessness.
As with most holidays, Christmas can be a difficult time for people whose lives don't match the sense of community that the Baileys enjoy in Bedford Falls. When we started this whole medical odyssey with Mike, one of the nurses asked if we had family here and I said that we had huge crowds of family. But sometimes your family isn't helpful at all. Maybe you don't get along with them. Then it's worse if they're around! Have you ever felt lonely in a crowd of people? That's a more terrible kind of loneliness than when you are lonely by yourself. Everyone has tried to be very helpful in their own way, and we really appreciate all the meals people have offered and also the offers of "whatever we need". Here are some tips to any of you whose friends might be going through a tough time -- listen and be sympathetic, don't be negative (see the first suggestion - just listen; don't describe the worst case scenario - the person has already thought of that), don't give advice, don't expect the person to want "company" -- sometimes people want to be alone and there is nothing wrong with that, just let the person know you're there for them, and then be there.
That's all from me for now. I wish everyone a very merry Christmas and a wonderful healthy and peaceful 2015!
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