I think Anne Shirley used to say that (except she said "day" instead of year). Anne Shirley, or Anne of Green Gables, to those of you who don't live by L. M. Montgomery's words as I do. (She is really one of my greatest influences. All of her books were stalwart friends for me throughout my girlhood, and remain favourites to this day. I read The Blue Castle again this holiday season for what must be the thirtieth time! It is such a great comfort to me when things seem especially difficult for me. It's very funny and romantic and it fulfills all sorts of aspirational thoughts I might have. It makes me feel like things are possible.)
I like most of the holidays, but New Year's Eve and Day have always been fraught. As many of you know, New Year's Day is my birthday and so, of course, not only am I thinking "what did I accomplish in 2017?" but also what did I accomplish in the 60th year of my life. I actually made a list in my journal and it did comfort me a bit, because I did accomplish some things. Two things I'm proud of are the two plays I wrote and directed -- "For My Name is Will" (which I think might be the best play I've written) and "High School Confidential", which was a really exciting experiment that actually worked out far better than I imagined, thanks to my terrific cast and crew. I feel very lucky because I value the work I do and think it's important and so that can always be chalked up as an accomplishment. When I was young, I didn't imagine that I would be satisfied with teaching high school drama -- I imagined fame and fortune and great challenging theatre in front of glittering audiences. But now, I see that the creation of the theatre is what is important, not the fame or fortune or glitter. I am proud that I still push myself to do new things in the theatre, that I still take risks (like with "High School Confidential") and that I have the opportunity to share my love of theatre with young people, because I really believe that theatre (and art, in a broader sense) can make the world better.
Did you make any New Year's resolutions? I usually try to make some, and this year, I chose one from my L. M. Montgomery books -- "think a beautiful thought every day". Marcus Aurelius said, "When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love". That goes with my last posting about Pascal saying that aliveness is what matters. I think my dear girl Daisy (and Izzy, this week) help in this department. I get up and they are excited right away because they know we're going for a walk and then we'll have breakfast when we come home and those are highlights of their day.
I had a little party last week. As with many initiatives of mine, I think "oh, I should do this" and then once I've done it, I'm STRESSED! I invited various people and then I waited anxiously for them to RSVP and then I started thinking about food and drink and paper plates and how everyone was going to fit into my tiny house and started to clean my tiny but desperately filthy house (during the hustle bustle of the school grind, cleaning always falls by the wayside, unless it's report card time and then I use cleaning as a way of getting out of doing report cards). I got everything ready and then, on the night of the party, I sat down on the couch to wait for my guests to arrive. I told people it was very casual and that they should come any time after six, but at six (of course), no one was here! 6:15 -- no one. I started to think, "what if no one comes?" even though people had said they would come and I should trust them, right? I remember Mike saying he had a party and everyone said they were coming but actually only two people came (that's worse than no one, because then you have to entertain the two people and they feel sorry for you and you have all that food and only two people to eat it and you feel like no one likes you -- argh.) Anyhow, it ended up going very well. The house was packed and the food got eaten and we played drama games that most people liked and everyone was nice to everyone else and I was glad I did it.
I wish all of us a very happy and alive 2018. We should all resolve to care for each other and for the wonderful planet we live on, to be grateful for the bounty we enjoy, to open our hearts to joy and "not sweat the small stuff". (One thing I have started doing is taking transit to school at least two days a week and I intend to continue in 2018).
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