ACTORS! LEARN YOUR LINES. PLAN WHAT YOU WILL WEAR!
THEATRE PRODUCTION! CREATE A LOGO FOR THE WAGGIES!
HERE IS THE SCRIPT FOR THE SHOW:
WAG AWARDS SHOW
WAG POEM (A1)
TICK TOCK SCENE (A1)
Cora-lynne: Wow!
What a night, Keith! So many
great films to choose from. I certainly
don’t envy the judges.
Keith: No, me either, Cora-lynne. I have enough trouble choosing which tie to
wear!
Cora-lynne: Maybe because you have four hundred of
them!
Keith: All perfectly arranged in my walk-in
closet in order of darkness to lightness.
Cora-lynne: What do you do with the striped ones?
Keith: (thinks, uncomfortably long) Well . . . I . . . don’t really like stripes.
(Cora-lynne’s dress
is striped.)
Cora-lynne: All righty, then. Moving along.
In these COVID times, we’re all feeling quite cut off and many people
are feeling trapped, like the girl in “Day Zero”.
Keith: No wonder! She got the same lunch every day!
Cora-lynne: Or poor Adrian – who feels so
disconnected from his old friends.
Keith: That’s why I don’t have any!
Cora-lynne: That might not be the only reason.
Keith: Marissa said the cookies she gave him
weren’t that good, but they looked delicious to me – is there an award for Best
Baker in a Film?
Cora-lynne: No, but I think Daniel, from “Presque CBC”,
might give her a run for her money. That
was quite a cooking demo! If only
cooking was that easy!
Keith: I depend on DoorDash for all my meals,
but the delivery scene in “Presque CBC” made me wonder about my delivery man’s
secret agenda.
Cora-lynne: It’s just a story, Keith.
Keith: Where there’s smoke, there’s
trouble. That’s what I always say.
Cora-lynne: Speaking of what you always say, what’s your
favourite line from each movie?
Keith: I’m tenacious . . . like a goose!
Cora-lynne: Invigilation . . . that’s such a long
word.
Keith: I’m pregnant! (Cora-lynne
joins in.) And you’re the father.
Theme music.
Cora-lynne: It sounds like our almighty director,
Narin Malhotra, is telling us to move things along. Since this is a virtual gala, we won’t have
to listen to long speeches from the winners, but we still want to keep things
moving along.
Keith: So let’s call Oscar winners, Brad Pitt
and Jennifer Lawrence to present the acting awards!
(Brad Pitt and Jennifer Lawrence enter. Jennifer trips on the stairs.)
Jennifer: Whoops!
That was embarrassing. You wonder
how many times that can happen?
Brad: That’s why I always wear pants.
Jennifer: But you look good in everything, Brad.
Brad: Thanks, you too.
Jennifer: Okay, let’s get down to business. It is important to note that there are two
great performances by alumni in the films, but they are not eligible to receive
a WAGGIE. The nominees for Best Actor
are:
Dina Bounine – Presque CBC
Samantha Cheng – Day Zero
And Wesley Yiu – Presque CBC
Brad: And the winner is:
Film of winner accepting WAGGIE.
Jennifer: And now, the best supporting actor award.
Brad: These are actors that were deemed to be
holding up the previous nominees.
Jennifer: The way you held me up when I fell! Thanks, again, Brad.
Brad: Don’t mention it. The nominees for Best Supporting Actor are:
Bella Yin – “Loneliness is Contagious”
Narin Malhotra – “Loneliness is Contagious”
And Tyler Haworth in “Presque CBC”
And the winner is:
Film of winner accepting WAGGIE.
Jennifer: And now, to present the award for best song
performance – Miley Cyrus and Nikki Minaj
Song: Wrecking Ball as Miley and Nikki enter, Nikki
twerking.
Miley: My hair got so messed up from that
wrecking ball.
Nikki: What’s your excuse every other day?
Miley: Anyway, the best song performance
nominees are:
Best Song
Performance:
Nominees:
Vik Anandkumar, “Presque CBC”
Bella Yin, “Loneliness is Contagious”
NIKKI: And the winner is . . .
MILEY: Now, to present the WAGGIE for best
editing – Danny de Vito and JK Rowling
DANNY: (raspy)
Hello everyone, welcome!
JK: Gosh, Danny, your voice! What happened?
DANNY: Don’t smoke!
JK: You can say that again.
DANNY: Don’t smoke! The nominees for Best Editing are:
Samantha Cheng – “Day Zero”
Bella Yin – “Loneliness is Contagious”
Colin Yang – “Presque CBC”
JK: The best cinematography award will be
presented by Leonardo deCaprio and Kate Winslett.
BENSON: The Heart Will Go ON
Leo and Kate stare at
him until he slinks off.
LEO: And the nominees for best cinematography
are—
KATE: (Grabbing envelope) Let go, Jack! Let go!
Best Cinematography Nominees:
Samantha Cheng – “Day Zero”
Bella Yin – “Loneliness is Contagious”
LEO: And the winner is . . .
LEO: Now, to present the best screenplay award
– Dr. Seuss and Jeff Kinney!
JEFF:
The nominees for Best
Screenplay are:
Colin Yang – “Presque CBC”
Viaan Wu and Samantha Cheng – “Day Zero”
Dr. Seuss: In this special envelope me and Jeff have
today
We’ll announce the award for the very best screenplay!
JEFF: And the winner is . . .
JEFF: And now to present the best director WAGGIE, Quentin Tarantino
and Bong Joon Ho!
BONG: What a good idea that flame thrower was!
QT: Says you.
I get zero respect in Hollywood.
Everyone assumes I’m violent!
Bong pulls out a gun.
BONG: Hand over the envelope. You can’t read! And the nominees for best director are:
Colin Yang – “Presque CBC”
Samantha Cheng – “Day Zero”
QT: And the winner is . . .
QT: And now to present the best shot award, Kevin
Hart and Dwayne the Rock Johnston!
Best Shot:
KH: Give me 20 pushups.
The Rock: NO!
KH: You can’t do 20 pushups? You’re built like a firetruck and you can’t
do a pushup?
The Rock: Shut up!
KH: You’re the host of X Games and you’re not
fit.
The Rock: You’re the most famous comedian in the world,
and you’re not even funny.
KH: Let’s get to the awards.
The nominees for Best
Shot are:
Cooking segment – starring Vik Anandkumar as Daniel
Adrian and Adrian’s father – featuring James Wen
Final scene – Day Zero (featuring girl’s back)
THE ROCK: And the winner is . . .
And now, to present the Film-maker Emeritus award, Ms. Jean
Kosar!
Special
acknowledgement to Film-maker Emeritus: Jean
Kosar
James Wen
James created the well-loved film, “Schmuley, the Alien Cop”
last year and has followed that memorable work with his post-graduate offering,
“Loneliness is Contagious”. Because he
is no longer eligible for regular waggies, we have decided to award him a
film-maker emeritus award to honour his continued devotion and contribution to
Steveston-London’s film festival program.
Our heartfelt thanks and congratulations to James Wen, film-maker
emeritus.
KOSAR: And now, the Best Film award will be presented by Mr. Rogers and Barney, the purple dinosaur!
Mr. Rogers: Barney, long time no sing. How are the kids?
BARNEY: They’re all extinct.
(Silence)
Mr. Rogers: Sorry to hear about that. And now to present the award for best film:
The winner is!
Together: And now, presenting the People’s Choice award: Bill and Melinda Gates!
BILL: Melinda, lovely to see you!
Melinda: Bill, you aren’t being an apple today!
BILL: Very funny, we’re still getting divorced.
The People’s Choice
for Best Film is:
No comments:
Post a Comment